Asia Argento vows revenge on former friend Rose McGowan with bold new dagger tattoo

The Italian actress posted shots as she received a tattoo on her foot of a dagger with a drop of blood on it, tagging the tattoo artist, Marco Manzo.

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Gwyneth Paltrow and new husband Brad Falchuk share photo of their wedding bands

The beauty, 46, was wearing her new gold wedding band as she lay her left hand on top of Brad's. He had on a matching ring. There was no caption.

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Jennifer Lopez sang to her ex-boyfriend Diddy during final Las Vegas show.

Jennifer Lopez dated Diddy, aka as Sean Combs and Puff Daddy, from 1999 until 2001. And on Saturday evening the exes reunited in Las Vegas.

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Pete Davidson pokes fun at Ariana Grande engagement on SNL

The 24-year-old comedian's relationship was the subject of three different sketches during the iconic reality show's season premiere on Saturday.

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Tori Spelling is ordered to pay unpaid credit card bill worth thousands following default judgement

More financial woes for Tori Spelling. The former 90210 star has been ordered to pay a credit card debt that now totals $5,043.32.

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Elon Musk Steps Down as Tesla’s Chairman in Settlement With S.E.C.

After walking away from a deal, Tesla’s chief agreed to give up the chairmanship for three years and pay a $20 million fine.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is married! The star, 46, weds Brad Falchuk in Hamptons

The ceremony took place at her mansion in Amagansett, which is in the Hamptons on Long Island, New York, just after 5 pm EST, according to People .

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Elon Musk’s Fans Just Took a Big Hit as Tesla Shares Tank

The stock tumbled nearly 14 percent Friday. The S.E.C.’s lawsuit against Mr. Musk is putting the spotlight on a company in turbulence and celebrity C.E.O.s.

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S.E.C. Goes After Musk With Its ‘Ultimate’ Penalty. Here’s Who Else Has Been Barred.

The Securities and Exchange Commission is seeking to bar Mr. Musk from ever serving as an officer or director of a public company.

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Gwyneth Paltrow's fiance Brad Falchuk arrives at her Hamptons mansion for their wedding

Gwyneth Paltrow is set to marry Brad Falchuk on Saturday evening. At about 5 pm EST 47-year-old Falchuk - a producer on American Horror Story - was seen in a grey suit as he pulled up to her home.

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Gwyneth Paltrow wedding prep: The tent is up on her Hamptons property

Gwyneth Paltrow is set to marry Brad Falchuk this weekend. And already on Saturday afternoon the large white tents for her celebration were seen erected on the grounds.

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk throw wedding rehearsal dinner at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion

The GOOP founder and the AHS producer held their post rehearsal dinner at Jerry Seinfeld's stunning Hamptons mansion. They have been friends with Jerry and his wife Jessica for a long time.

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Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionally chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Waste Not Want Not: Time, Money, and Trash | No Sidebar by Lori Sanders. What can I do right now to help eliminate waste and benefit both me and my planet?

Simplicity is a Light, Inviting You Back to Your Soul | A Life in Progress by Lisa Avellan. There can be no doubt that this possessive clinging to things is one of the most harmful habits in the life.

15 Clutter-Free Birthday Party Gifts for Kids | Simple Families by Denaye Barahona Ph.D. When it comes to simplicity, birthday parties can feel anything but simple.

Your Guide to Becoming a Minimalist & Simplifying Your Life | Journey to Launch Podcast with Jamila Souffrant. Minimalism gives you the chance to pursue happiness outside of your physical possessions. Here’s a recent interview I did for Jamila’s podcast.

5 Minimalism Mistakes to Avoid | YouTube (6:31) by FrugalChicLife. Don’t get sucked into the labels and rules that other people create.

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Kevin Spacey sued by masseur who claims the actor forced him to rub testicles and tried to kiss him

The male masseuse - who asked to file as a John Doe - was called in by a third party to meet the now 59-year-old actor at his home in Malibu according to a Friday report from TMZ.

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RHOP's Michael Darby suspended from filming after felony assault charge for pinching buttocks

The  reality star is no longer filming the Bravo series after the allegations that he had groped a cameraman according to a Friday report from TMZ .

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CNN's billionaire founder Ted Turner, 79, reveals he is suffering from Lewy Body dementia

It is the same disease that affected the actor Robin Williams, before his suicide aged 63 in 2014.

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PICTURED: The drug dealer who was arrested at Cher’s Malibu mansion after an overdose death

Troubled drug dealer Donovan Ruiz, who according to Radar Online is also in the midst of facing battery charges, has been pictured for the first time.

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Tesla Chief Elon Musk Is Sued by S.E.C. in Move That Could Oust Him

The Securities and Exchange Commission filed a lawsuit Thursday that accused Mr. Musk, the electric-car manufacturer’s chief executive, of making false and misleading public statements.

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Friday Finds: 9.28.18

Staying in, staying cozy, and reading all the deep-dives on the internet! What are your weekend plans?

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Khloe Kardashian hits back at troll over remark about her daughter True Thompson's skin color

While it was not immediately clear in regards to the conduct of the comment she was talking about, the reality star had advice for those looking to tweet vitriolic remarks in her direction.

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Daimler Names R&D Head as Next CEO, Zetsche to Become Chairman

Daimler named research chief Ola Kaellenius as its next CEO on Wednesday in a succession plan that promotes a raft of tech-savvy managers at its Mercedes-Benz car brand and also seeks to install long-serving CEO Dieter Zetsche as chairman.

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Wheels: 2-Second Rule for Distracted Driving Can Mean Life or Death

While people will always find a way to distract themselves, the industry is dreaming up new ways to keep drivers’ eyes on the road.

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Lens: The Veteranas of Chicana Youth Culture in Los Angeles

Guadalupe Rosales started an Instagram account cataloging the Latina youth scene in Southern California in the ’80s and ’90s.

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Batman will go into production 'next summer'

The future of the blockbuster has been up in the air since Ben Affleck - who has played the Caped Crusader since 2016 - stepped down as writer and director.

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😂 43 Stupidly Funny Wanted Job Ads

Some of the funniest help wanted ad examples and now hiring signs you'll ever see.

Photo by Jon Tyson

How can restaurants and retailers stand out when they're trying to get quality hires for their hardworking jobs?

By showing a sense of humor that might mean an enjoyable workplace with fun colleagues.

On the other hand, sometimes their ads are funny for the wrong reasons…

Enjoy these “best of class” examples.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Funny Help Wanted Ads and Signs

“We Need A Graphic Designer… Obviously.”

“Please Help. We need a Graphic Designer. Email for an application. Thx. -Student Publications”

“edtiors watned”

“Help Wanted. Must dominate the English Language”

“Wanted: Server: Sober*, sane, non dramatic experienced. Able to work mornings, appreciation of skillful sarcasm helpful. I.D. Required.

*Sober in now way implies admission into a 12-step program, we do, however expect you to NOT be drunk when reporting for work”

“Help Wanted

Food Experience a Must.

• Do not apply if you'll need nights off because your band has a gig.
• Do not apply if you'll need weekends off because you have a gallery opening.
• Do not apply if you just want to work a few weeks before you go to Europe.”

“Because your boyfriend will eventually ask for gas money. Now Hiring. Apply in person with manager.”

“In Memory of Dave. We Will Miss You. Now Hiring.”

“Now Hiring Cashier – Weekends – Must be 21+ Applications avail. Inside

Cannot look anything like “Skeletor from “He-Man”.”

“I need a person who likes to work. Cashier, Grill, Phones Nights.”

“Piano Player Wanted. Must have knowledge of opening clams.”

“Wanted: Someone to grind or chew hay for horse with bad teeth”

“Wanted: Looking for someone do yard work. Must have hoolahoop”

“Surgeon wanted for a new health clinic opening in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools.”

“Wanted: Part time sales person who won't quit after 2 months, who works hard and doesn't think she's doing me a favour by working here, who can take a joke and won't cry everyday on the floor. Enquire within”

“Scarecrow Wanted:

A volunteer is wanted to work as a scarecrow in a field near Didcot (weekends only). No previous experience is needed as full training will be given. Must be able to stand up for several hours without a break, and have no fear of birds. No time wasters please.”

“McCook Glass & Mirror Inc. is looking for hard working experienced employees that possess responsibility and are reliable. Must be self motivated and have a clean driving record.

Please do not apply if you:

Oversleep, have no alarm clock, have no car, have court often, have no baby sitter every day, have to give friends rides to work later than we start work, experience flat tires every week, have to hold on to cell phone all day, or become an expert at your job with no need to learn or take advice after the first day.

Must be able to remember to come back to work after lunch. Should not expect to receive Purple Ribbons or Gold Stars for showing up to work on time.”

“Sign #342, still looking for that Special person… you know the one, the open schedule one, the one that doesn't cry, the one that's not late all the time, the one that makes things happen and not waits for things to happen… that one!”

“Do you have strong opinions about the calls our referees make? If so… Then we want to hear from you!!

We need people like you to attend the clinics, study the rule book, strap on the skates and wear the jersey, because that is the commitment we need.

If you only want to yell from the bench or bleachers, then you're just a bully and are useless for anything in our facility. Bullying: It's not just kids!”

“Wanted: Grape Stompers

Must Have Good Balance and Large Feet. Skinny Folk need not apply.”

“The Dupree School District No. 64-2 is accepting applications for Part-Time Head Lice Pullers. Applications may be picked up in the Business Office of the Dupree School.”

“Help Wanted:

Start a career in the fascinating, fast-paced lucrative pudding business.

• Long Hard Hours.
• Very low pay.
• Lots of Heavy Lifting.
• Work for a ball-busting asshole.
• Dead-End job.
• No Benefits.
• No advancement.
• Must be college Grad.

Start Immediately.”

Lol! #batman #BatmanAndRobin #helpwanted #funny #dccomics pic.twitter.com/hTD42q8rNi

— HamiltonComicCon (@Hamiltoncomic) March 1, 2017

Funny Now Hiring Ads and Signs

“Now Hiring Now. Right Now We're Hiring Now.”

“Store Closing. Now Hiring.”

“Now Firing. Apply Within. Positions Available.”

“Now Hiring Ass Manager”

“SpongeBob Is Here Hiring Managers.”

“Toyz: We are Hiring. Low Pay. Bad Hours. Jerk Boss. Apply Now.”

“Now Hiring Fried Turkeys.”

“Now Hiring Smiling Faces. We do drug testing”

“Now Hiring.

• Part Time
• Must have open availability
• 18 or older only
• Must like smiling and happy things.”

“Now Hiring. Must Have a Brain.”

“Need a Job. Lets Taco Bout It.”

“You don't have to be Heisenberg to cook. Now Hiring Kitchen Help.”

“Job: Noun I. the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money;

Now Hiring: Cashier Nights, Cook Nights, Driver P/T”

“Now Hiring. Please no dinosaurs with clever human costumes – Fool me once shame on you…”

“Help Wanted. All Shifts. We Pay More Then the NYPD.”

“Attention! Now Hiring: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Inquire Within.”

Other Funny Wanted Ads

“Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.”

“Situations Wanted: Will clean your home, will take in washing & ironing in my home. Will also tattoo pet dog at your home”

“Wanted! Good Woman. Apply Within. Free tryouts @ 5:00 pm every 20 mins thereafter!”

“7 Year Old Kid Looking for a Job.

Saving up for a dream that has not come true yet. Wanting to swim like a mermaid. Babysitting small animals (non-evil). Or walking dogs. Experience: I have 2 dogs, 2 rats, 2 fish, 2 geckos, 1 hamster and 1 cat. Please call — I need to stay in walking distance of Garden St. Thank you! Please call! Broken heart. Still waiting for enough money for the mermaid tail.”

This was too funny not to include- a call to post a help wanted ad:

“Sorry, we are closed due to short staff.” “Hire taller staff cause I need a taco!”

Question of the article

What's the best, funniest Help Wanted or We're Hiring ad you've ever seen? Tell us in the comments

Other bloggers' funny wanted ads and signs

• 12 Disastrously Stupid Job Postings That Actually Ran
• 8 Funny Want Ads All Moms Can Relate To
• Help! I Need Help With the Help Wanted Ads

More funny and creative job ads

• 43 Stupidly Funny Wanted Job Ads
•  77 Particularly Creative Job Recruitment Ads For 2017
• 88 Catchy Recruitment Ads You've Got to See
• 117 Funniest Creative Job and Recruitment Ads
• 55 Great Job Recruitment Ads From Around the World
• 50 Most Creative Recruitment Ads in the World
• 7 Funny Newspaper Job Wanted Ads You’ve Never Seen
• Top 10 Best Job Ads of the World

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15 Minute Easy Chicken Chow Mein Recipe

Make this easy 15 minute chicken chow mein – it's faster than takeout and tastier too!

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